Understanding different perspectives

It is well known that autistic people often interpret or experience things differently to neurotypical people in a neurotypical world where we often are told we are doing something 'wrong'. Autistic people often lack confidence in non-verbal communication and this can indicate to some that we are in need of some sort of fix. This post examines four areas where this issue occurs. These are sensory sensitivities, eye contact, body language, facial expressions and especially unwritten rules.

Having autism means that my senses are heightened - the volume might be too loud, or the lights too bright, the dinner might be too smelly, etc. For instance, I really don't like eating mushrooms - the smell is so overwhelming and horrific that in a restaurant environment I often would need to sit several tables away from the offender. In 2015, unbeknownst to me, I had underlying autism and a sensory issue resulted in me leaving a job. For those that do not experience sensory overload it might be necessary to adjust the response appropriately.

Eye contact can be overly invasive or too intense - for me this can often result in physical pain. People can think I am rude for not looking at them, but this is not intentional. Very occasionally I look straight into someone's eyes but this often feels like they are looking straight into my soul and I am looking into their soul which is not always an enjoyable experience! Eye contact is something that neurotypicals take for granted. It would be much better if the autistic experience was better understood and respected so that people could learn that for some of us, not looking does not necessarily mean I am not listening.

Facial expressions, body language and tone of voice can all be misunderstood. It doesn't always apply to every social situation but is certainly common. This means when that I might miss something such as someone being sad however it does not mean that I am thoughtless or callous. This often feeds into the myth that autistic people completely lack any form of empathy.

The amount of social faux pas I have had related to unwritten rules is big! For most neurotypical people these unwritten rules are taken for granted such that they do not realise these unwritten rules even exist.

All of these boil down to a few things which need to happen:

- Understanding and knowledge of autism and autistic experiences.

- Respecting difference and knowing that some people may have a different experience.

- Not privileging neurotypical experience as the 'right way' of doing things.

- Listening to autistic people.

If each of these points were actioned I don't think it would be such an issue.